The independent news organization of Duke University

'Loser now older loser' and other Duke Homecoming poems

not not true

“Limerick from an alumna”

A junior tells me he feels a connection
From me he faces no rejection
So I follow him back
I help him yak
In the morning I leave SNU section.

Homecoming poem from Rupi Kaur”

you told me you would 
never change
but when i 
look at you
i can only see 
every thing i’m missing
Quenchers

“Acrostic: ALUMNI”

All
Losers
University
Makes
Nut
Idly

“Haiku on graduating”

The diploma effects change.
Just watch an alum:
A frat boy is a frat man.

“Shakespearean Sonnet: Alumni night at Shooters”

He is a new alumnus from last year
Looking to visit Shooters this weekend.
But in his heart he is filled with real fear—
It’s been months since he last spoke to his friend.
She’s a new grad placed at Goldman Sachs.
With her college friends she lost contact
Sooner or later she will face the facts—
Going to Homecoming won’t bring them back.
He goes to Shooters and dances away.
She goes to Shooters and searches for him.
He sees her and doesn’t know what to say.
Then she sees him and goes out on a limb.
A hug on the dance floor with a whisper—
“Do you miss Duke? I miss the way things were.”

“Cinquain: Alumni Weekend Lines”

“What’s that?”
She peers at it.
Behind the glass a sigh—
Forty alumni stand in line.
Tandoor.

“Dr. Seuss: The Places You Went”

Congratulations!
Last year was your year.
You were off to Great Places!
You were off and away!
You had a diploma in your hand
And a cap on your head.
You applied to Big Three
But went boutique instead.


You’re on your own. And you know what you know:
Your public policy degree limits where you can go.
You’ll look up and down the campus. Look back at it with care;
For some, they will say, “I didn’t choose to go there.”
With your resume full of Duke and your LinkedIn full of sh**,
The “real world” is actually worse than you admit.

You thought you would find
A street to go down.
In that case of course,
You’d head straight out of town.
But now you’re back
Missing your classes
Gazing at the Chapel
Gazing at Duke’s grasses.
Oh! The places you went!

I, Monday Monday,
Performed these at Open Mic.
It did not go well.

Comments