Golden Globes sticks to predictable wins and crowd favorites

The ceremony had been engineered to yield optimal levels of inoffensive fun. 

Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg were efficiently charismatic in their roles as hosts, bantering warmly and doling out compliments to nearly ever nominee. Carol Burnett showed up to accept her eponymous award and brightened everyone’s evening with her sweetly daffy antics and sincere gratitude. Everyone was all smiles or, at the very least, making a decent effort to grin and bear the chintzy pageantry of the Golden Globes. Watching celebrities walk the red carpet during the approximately six-hour long pre-awards show, it was difficult to believe that by the end of the night, faith in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s integrity would be virtually demolished.

But — let’s backtrack. The Golden Globes have long been regarded as a stepchild of the Academy Awards, looser in format and less prestigious in status. Although the general belief is that the results of the Golden Globes predict the Academy Award winners, there is no statistically significant correlation between the two ceremonies’ outcomes, largely due to the Golden Globes having two Best Picture categories instead of one — one for “Best Motion Picture – Drama” and another for “Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy.”

Typically, the broader playing field is a welcome change from the ostensibly solemn contenders at the Academy Awards, but this year, there were a few competitors in the race that raised some eyebrows. Crowd-pleasers “Black Panther” and “Crazy Rich Asians” were nominated for Best Drama and Best Comedy, respectively: Whether this was a sincere nod to these films’ craftmanship or a performative acknowledgement of their cultural impact is unknown, but few critics believed either film had a snowball’s chance in Wakanda of taking the title. “Green Book” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” seemed to fit the status quo a little better, both being biopics with themes lifted straight from the Oscar bait tackle box — Racism is bad! Being gay is okay if you’re Freddie Mercury! — and committed performances from their leading men.

However, both movies have some troubling real-life backstories, troubling enough to warrant a dedicated “Controversies” tab on their respective Wikipedia pages. “Green Book” attempts to tell the story of African-American jazz pianist Don Shirley and his Italian-American driver Frank Vallelonga traveling the southern United States during the 1960s and learning to coexist peacefully. The film’s blithe handwaving of racism and class differences is disturbing enough on its own, but the fact that it was written by Vallelonga’s son and two other white writers without input from Shirley’s family or committment to historical accuracy should disqualify any shred of value the movie might have scrounged from its source material. So, naturally, “Green Book” won Best Musical or Comedy — despite being neither a musical, a comedy nor the best of anything.

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” on the other hand, drew little ire for its historical inaccuracies, even though several liberties were taken with the band’s history and Mercury’s personal life, particularly his romantic relationships. These alterations paled in light of director Bryan Singer’s multiple sexual abuse allegations. It wasn’t Singer’s charges of abuse that ultimately led to his being removed as director halfway through filming; rather, he failed to show up on set most days and was prone to dramatic emotional breakdowns when he did bother doing his job. Although halfhearted efforts have been made to sweep Singer under the rug, he is still officially recognized as the movie’s director and few cast members have expressed anything approaching remorse for choosing to work with a famously difficult and famously predatory man. So, of course, “Bohemian Rhapsody” won Best Drama — despite most of its drama taking place behind the scenes and not anywhere in this numbingly dull wince of a movie.

It can be argued that these films should be reviewed on their artistic merit alone, but neither “Green Book” nor “Bohemian Rhapsody” was particularly well-received by critics. At best, they were two stunningly average films seemingly tailor-made for awards season, failing to measure up to other contenders like the explosively entertaining “BlacKkKlansman” and critical darling “The Favourite.” Their victories over movies that actually crafted compelling narratives about marginalized people and their stories was a massive shock to critics. The ceremony rewarded, respectively, a disrespectfully inaccurate tale of racism being magically solved by a friendship between a black man and a white man (which, according to Don Shirley’s family, never existed) and an unremarkable shrug of a biopic directed by a man accused of sexually assaulting multiple minors. 

Even if the Golden Globes rarely predict the outcome of the Academy Awards, these films are now serious contenders and have the power to walk away victorious in spite of their many (many) issues. The irony of so many celebrities sporting “Time’s Up X2” pins while cheerfully applauding Bryan Singer’s work was as hilariously absurd as it was depressing. No amount of toothless half-jokes from the presenters about those darn sleazy men in Hollywood can change the fact that those same sleazy men are going home with awards. The Golden Globes have set the stage. One can only hope the Academy Awards won’t follow in their footsteps and invite “Green Book” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” back onto that stage again.