Last spring, Duke introduced a new, more secure Wi-Fi network named Dukeblue. Almost one year later, I’m still asking, “Where’s the Wi-Fi?”

There are expensive Cisco routers all over campus, and the internet still cuts out. That the Wi-Fi is unreliable despite all of this technology, might make you think that the walls are made out of lead. After an ill-advised attempt to use a golf simulator indoors, I can confirm that the walls are surprisingly durable, but definitely not lead.

It shouldn’t be this hard for the university provide reliable and quick internet on campus. A cheap router can cover an entire single family home with internet. When I look out my door, I can see three far more expensive routers and still not get Wi-Fi. It would comically absurd if it were funny, but it’s not—it’s just absurd.

The inconsistent Wi-Fi also makes it difficult to complete academic work and to socialize. It’s hard to make friends playing Call of Duty on Xbox Live when I get disconnected in the middle of every match. Without working Wi-Fi, I can neither work hard, nor play hard.

At first, I thought that maybe it was just me. Maybe I am a technological caveman, incapable of following the simplest of directions to connect to the internet. But then I talked to my friends—not the ones on Xbox Live—and they have the same issue. I thought it was possible that I had surrounded myself with equally technologically-deficient people. But then I saw other students complaining about issues with the internet on Fix My Campus. So either a large number of students are really, really stupid—myself included—or there is actually a problem with Wi-Fi.

I came to this momentous realization months ago and figured that the administration would eventually fix the issue with the internet. It’s now 2017 though, and the Wi-Fi is still unreliable. So, I’m using my column and its vast audience that includes anyone worth knowing to make clear that the internet still sucks—I’m looking at you, Young Trustee nominees.

If you want to be elected, don’t make promises about your values. Odds are that if you didn’t actually care about the student body, you’d be writing a column about the crappy Wi-Fi on campus and not running for Young Trustee. So instead of emphasizing your commitment to improving Duke and making it more affordable, your campaign should make more concrete promises, like fixing the Wi-Fi on campus.

It turns out that those of us with unreliable internet are actually the lucky ones though. In some parts of campus, the Wi-Fi is completely nonexistent. It can be as arbitrary as having to stand in a certain part of one’s room to even have the opportunity to access the unreliable internet. No one should have to stand in their closet to access shoddy internet so they can try to do their homework. That’s the kind of campaign promise that would compel me to vote for a Young Trustee candidate.

At this point, I’m resigned to the fact that the administration will likely ignore this simple, humble request like so many others I’ve previously made in this column. The dorms in Edens are still some of the worst on campus. The university still charges for ePrint. And just when it seemed that the administration would slow down all the construction, they announced even more new projects. There are also still no soda fountains in West Union. Painfully, I must admit that DSG is taking steps to restructure itself. If they follow through on this commitment and fulfill their obligations to the student body remains to be seen.

I won’t be the one to see if they do though. In just a few months, holding those in power at Duke accountable will hopefully be the job of a columnist as brave and courageous as myself, since I am graduating this spring. Over the years, I have received many messages thanking me for writing what I have and quite a few less appreciative ones. Today though, the importance of a combative press is clearer than any time in recent history. As such, I would like to preemptively accept the apologies of all those who have privately and publicly disparaged my columns—I forgive you.

Justin Koritzinsky is a Trinity senior. His column, "performance review," runs on alternate Fridays.