In defense of different

What can we learn from “The Big Bang Theory”? At first blush, not a lot. But there is something to be gained by examining what makes the number one-rated comedy on television tick.

The show derives the majority of its laughs from an ensemble cast of quirky characters, the most prominent probably being Sheldon Cooper, a theoretical physicist with a high IQ and limited social skills. His personality leaves much to be desired. Sheldon constantly belittles his friends and flaunts his intelligence. He is rather needy and insists on having things his way, often forcing his friends to go out of their way to make him happy. In return for their sacrifices, Sheldon often gets himself into troublesome situations, from which he has to be rescued. In short, Dr. Cooper is a rather insufferable human being, which begs the question: why is he one of the most beloved characters on television?

Yes, people do seem to love Sheldon, at least enough to grant actor Jim Parsons four Primetime Emmys and a Golden Globe. “TBBT” fans appreciate Sheldon’s unintentional insults, witty remarks, and occasional redemptive moments. He makes people laugh, and they find him interesting because he is different: his personality is not one you encounter on a daily basis. Sheldon is the archetypal oddball character that can be found everywhere; think Luna Lovegood from “Harry Potter” or Brick Heck from “The Middle,” for example. The list goes on and on; wherever you look, you can find characters who draw people in due to their eccentricities and idiosyncrasies.

But how many people would want to be friends with Sheldon in real life? I would guess not many. A real-life Sheldon would probably be ignored and dismissed, and he would have very few friends, if any at all. Pretty much every Sheldon-like character would suffer the same fate, including Leonard, Howard, Raj, Amy and the rest of “The Big Bang Theory” cast, because in the world in which we live, being different is a detriment, not a plus. The issue is that society creates a baseline definition of what it means to be “normal,” one to which everyone is compared. Those who do not fit the standard are categorized (subconsciously, much of the time) as “not normal” and thrown down a few pegs on the social ladder. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—there are occasional benefits to classifying people in this manner. However, problems can easily arise, the most prominent of which is the ostracization of those who dare to be different.

At the center of my high school was an open-air courtyard. During lunch, most people ate in the cafeteria or off-campus. A specific group, however, always gathered in the courtyard. Its members checked off many boxes; they were big fans of anime and played games like Magic: The Gathering. They didn’t like the same things or dress the same way or have the same goals as most of their peers. As a result of their not conforming to the standard of normal, they became almost second-class citizens in school, looked down upon and ignored. They were not seen as cool, and they never would be.

Unfortunately, the shunning of the courtyard group does not appear to be an isolated incident. In today’s world, many people are treated just as bad or worse. Those who are shy or don’t particularly like talking to other people, for instance, are seen as having social skills problems that need to be fixed. Those who are unsure about their direction in life are criticized for not caring enough about their future and having an attitude problem. The list goes on and on. Wherever you go, you can find people being picked on for not “fitting in.” The actions of the people doing the judging are rather troubling. In this day and age, it is cool to accept others for who they are. Why, then, does it seem like this doctrine doesn’t apply to so many people?

Naturally, there are consequences when people are ignored for being different, such as loneliness, anger, and frustration. After all, those who feel like they are not being respected are unlikely to be stoic and unaffected. They will suffer, and the sad thing is that no one will care. In extreme situations, people may even lash out at the society they feel is giving them a raw deal.

As Psychology Today said about Elliot Rodger, the UC-Santa Barbara shooter, and others like him, “They feel like ‘losers,’ unloved and unlovable. Unaccepted and unacceptable social misfits. They have not been able to find their place or purpose in life.” It is impossible to defend the actions of these individuals, but we can try to understand what drove them to do the things they did. The longer people are labeled as different, the longer their grievances against others build. For some, this eventually becomes too much to handle.