Everyday at Duke, I find myself amazed to see such talented and interesting individuals, nuanced in many ways. Rarely do I find an art major who solely cares about art, an engineering major who does nothing but engineering, or a literature major with extracurriculars only in writing. Diversity is a prided attribute of this campus, and it’s what makes Duke well-rounded and interesting.
Yet something else I’ve noticed is the growing competiveness to be “more unique,” to be “more creative,” to be the students who put all of themselves into ending racism, ending world hunger, curing cancer and, while balancing these moderately difficult things, maintaining a high GPA and a charismatic and engaging personality. The strive to become effortlessly perfect drives us to join clubs we might not truly believe in. While this is not the case for all students, the atmosphere of the school often causes such scenarios to happen. Many students become great at what they’re doing, but with no idea why they’re truly doing it.
So, what do you believe in?
It’s important to set goals for yourself, leaning toward something like, “I want to discover a new passion here,” rather than, “I want to be president of a minimum of 5 clubs before senior year.” Setting goals to truly discover yourself in this setting is easier said than done. Many times we fall victim to the stressful pressure to present ourselves as perfect. We see the words “leadership position,” and rush hurriedly to do whatever we can to own that club, convincing ourselves that we care about three-legged children in Malaysia or rabid veterans in Uzbekistan. But in the end, it comes back to hurt.
In these years here, it’s important to do what you love. It’s important to be who you are, rather than what you want the world to see you as. You don’t have to join any clubs if you don’t want to. Dive into schoolwork and take classes you would never though to take before. Try research. Go rock climbing at Wilson Gym. Or, better yet, just take sometime for yourself to nap and watch Netflix.
Shocking, right? The ultimate “no”: to do nothing, to take time for yourself and relax. Of course, you might think, “That sounds good in theory, but if I relax, then I’ll get behind on this class, won’t have time to get lunch with that friend, or finish that poster for those clubs.” Or, “If I relax, I’m weak…I won’t be like my friend who’s overloading with 6 classes and also founded a new charity.” The scheduled countless items and competitive pressures are always there, preventing us from relaxing. Better to just smile and pretend your life is completely awesome, right? And then post on Facebook all the amazing things you’re doing and rack up the likes?
Self-image is a curious thing. We all want to present ourselves well to the world. It’s natural Darwinian human instinct to show a good image. But by focusing our care on how we appear to the world, we often neglect what it is we are truly fighting for. We forget what we care about. We become shallow, only caring for how we are perceived, rather than caring to discover who we truly are.
Do you gain more gratification from the affirming, “Wow, what you’re doing is so cool!” exclamations from your friends, or from the actual work you’re doing? Do you choose books to read that you enjoy, or books that sound impressive when you talk about them? Do you talk to new people because you like them, or because you haven’t “networked” enough? In short, are you being yourself, or are you hiding behind what you want everyone to see?
Of course, we are all guilty of this, in some form. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise. We have all at some point felt the stress of being on Duke’s campus; we have all felt the pressures encapsulating us. Ironically, even someone who tries to pretend “not” to be effortlessly perfect, probably has, at some point in his or her lives, done just that. But it’s okay to admit to someone that you have only skimmed that lofty-sounding book so you could talk about it to others. It’s okay to say you wanted to join that club because it’ll sound good on your resume. It’s okay to admit you’ve been just a bit selfish in order to compete for societal approval at some point in your life. Just don’t let that desire keep you from doing all of the great things you truly care about.
And, if you exhibit your passion, you don’t have to put effort into proving it to the world. We’ll see it.
Qiang Zhang is a Trinity sophomore.
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