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#whatDukeneeds

We at The Chronicle’s independent editorial board are pretty tied up (read: wasted) this LDOC, so in lieu of a standard editorial, we’d like to share some of our favorite happenings on the Duke Twittersphere (see, we’re in touch with campus... right? #istwitterstillcool).

The latest trending topic at Duke follows in the footsteps of the Who Needs Feminism campaign. And since we love student activism here at the editorial board, here are some other things #dukeneeds...

B.o.B.: I need backup because I don’t know how to perform alone... #musicalcodependency #DukeLDOC

AllenBuilding: @DukeStudentBody We need silent disco because the music is too damn loud #GetOffMyLawn #OldPeopleTweets

HaplessSenior: I need vodka because I STILL don’t have postgrad plans #stopasking

HonorCouncil: I need more value cards because I lost my moral charizard. #gottacatchemall #dukeneeds

AceofSpades: @HonorCouncil I need Honor Council because the administration isn’t patronizing enough #You’reDouchierThanThat

EconSenior: @BCG@Bain@McKinsey I need consulting because I’m not soulless enough for finance #ButI’mClose

PrattStarzz: I need Duke in Silicon Valley because I really did want to go to Stanford #Rejected #StillBitter

CoachK: @HighSchoolBigMen I need Duke in D.C. because maybe you’ll think we’re Georgetown? #JustKiddingK #PleaseDon’tYellAtMe

EnglishDept: @StanleyFish I need the humanities because math is hard #A+2bx/pi=WTF???????

Disillusionedfrosh: I need pre-med advising because I thought I was intelligent and qualified #WhoNeedsMedSchoolAnyway

Cmrncrz2013: I need Marshall to be eligible because I already miss Miles #GiveMePlumleesOrGiveMeDeath!!!

OccupyDuke: We need donations because our tents fell apart and we can’t afford new ones :( #99percent

DukeStudentConduct: @DickBro I need a campus in Kunshan because interim suspension just isn’t cutting it #ChineseGovernment #JusticeSystems #BestPractices

BryanStephens: @DukeFrats I need to dissolve you because I saw a brother laughing #KangarooCourts #Who’sGonnaStopMe? #Don’tHazeMeBro

Fratbro: @BryanStephens I need six beers because seven is too many and five is definitely not enough #sarcasm #missmykiddiepool

Editbrd: I need DSG... never mind #AdvocacyThatWorks #ResumeBooster

duArts: I need new rehearsal space because I’ve always wanted to visit Siberia #interpretivehiking

DukeGDI: I need K4 because I didn’t hate my life enough #AllOfEdens #ParadiseLost

Duke2014: RT@Duke GDI Suckahhh I need to pay higher tuition so I can have a massive tv in K4 #armsrace #educationalessentials

DickBro: I need LDOC to be over so I can go back to reading... and taking over China #globalization #educationalimperialism

LMo: I need people to stop hating on the House Model... or I’ll go back to Croatia #workinggroups

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