how to live the perfect... LDOC

9:00 A.M. Good morning sunshine Sleeping past 10 a.m. on LDOC is not an option. If you do, you will wake up, find your friends already hammered and be the lonely sober guy/girl. That's a terrifying reality. In case you're not a morning person (i.e. you hit the snooze button six-plus times), the perfect solution is a stack of pancakes, a side of bacon and a solo cup of Andre. Not only will this LDOC-worthy breakfast give you a reason to get out of bed, it will give you a solid base for the day's festivities.

11:34 A.M. 'Crat in Pratt? It's Wednesday morning. You have back-to-back engineering lectures. What do you do? Obviously, The Chronicle crossword puzzle. But if you finish it in the first class, you're usually out of options for the second class. But not on LDOC. Slip some Aristocrat in your Apple-Cranberry Snapple and challenge your professor to some flip cup.

1:05 P.M. A midday siesta Some of us were born champions: We wake up before sunrise; kickstart the day with a Sparks; fuel ourselves through LDOC with some "BL Smoothies" (a.k.a. "warm Busch Lights"); and power through three concerts with Red Bull Vodkas. Others like us, however, were born human: After a big breakfast, two classes and a half-dozen shots of 'crat, we need to recharge with a midday siesta.

3:22 P.M. A tradition unlike any other: The shotgun As a wise man once said, "There is no sipping. There is no drinking. And there is no chugging.... There is only shotgun." Although that man was referring to Tailgate, the rule still applies on LDOC. Find a pal, grab a couple cold Busch Lights, break out your keys and let the beer fly. A few suggestions: 1. Avoid crowded places. Nobody wants a foamy beer slammed in their face. 2. Cut a circular hole (as best as you can) with a one-inch diameter. It increases pressure for optimal beer flow. 3. Bend down low and keep your "supporting" arm at a right angle. Otherwise, you'll be wondering why everyone else has finished their beer when you are only halfway done.

6:45 P.M. Duke's last night in town Unfortunately, we won't see Wilco (Tweedy, et al. played LDOC 2005). But fortunately, we won't hear "Semi-Charmed Life." This year, the lineup is promising: Gym Class Heroes: They're a pop band without the bite. If you're drunk, they'll be good-kind of like how Shwayze was good. Girl Talk: A band for everyone. Literally. In one song, they mix Roy Orbison, Ludacris. Rage, Jay-Z and Huey Lewis and the News. Ben Folds: When the economy crashes, maybe the suburbs will come down with it. And maybe Ben Folds will be forced to sing about something new.

11:16 P.M. Strangers in the night Because we didn't want to offend, we refrained from being explicit here. A picture, however, tells a thousand words, so use your imagination.


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