It's a problem the administration can't fix, and one that most students don't really understand. I was one of those students until recently-when I realized that the very stereotypes I proudly rejected left me confused about sexual assault.
Although causes of sexual assault are numerous, a major factor is the lack of understanding between the people involved.
A man is likely to define sexual assault in far more aggressive and violent terms than a woman. Most men equate "assault" with "rape"-that is, the use of violence and physical force. A woman, however, probably sees "assault" as sex that isn't consensual. Consequently, the idea of "no" leads to problems.
Archaic gender roles dictate that a proper lady is reticent as she coyly refuses the advance of her suitor. Even though she really wants sex, she's supposed to say no to avoid appearing "easy." A man, having accepted these stereotypes, is persistent and aggressive, since he knows she's only playing hard to get.
While I never bought into such stereotypes, I also didn't understand the subtleties behind sexual assault. Rape, due to its violent nature, seemed clear-cut. Yet, sexual assault and consent were more complex. At Duke, where there are few if any guns, knives or dark alleys, how does sexual assault occur?
I wondered how a woman might fail to convey to the man that he doesn't have her consent and needs to stop.
Once she realized that he wasn't listening-or perhaps was ignoring-her demands to stop, why didn't she scream, or push him off, or hit him? So I wondered. And I think that many men on this campus might be confused in similar ways.
I found an explanation in a chance conversation with Jean Leonard, the coordinator of Sexual Assault Support Services. Leonard, who counsels most women that come to SASS after an assault, says that when a woman's rejections are ignored and her cry of "no" unheeded, she can go into a state of shock.
She compares this shock to the moment right before a car accident. When you realize you're about to get hit, you freeze behind the wheel. Rather than swerving or trying to slam on the breaks, Leonard explains, you are paralyzed by the realization that the inevitable is about to happen.
She finds that something similar can occur to the multitudes of women who are assaulted and feel powerless to stop it. That explains how assault can happen even if there is no screaming or physical fighting. The analogy Leonard offers vividly depicts how a woman can be assaulted even if the man thinks the sex is consensual.
A man who persists and keeps pushing further despite being told "no" or to "stop" can easily interpret the subsequent silence as victory; as a sign that she really was saying "no" out of decorum.
And maybe she was. Yet, it seems more likely that her silence could mean something else-that it could be a sign of fear and paralysis that Leonard finds so common.
The analogy also helps men (or at least this man) understand the potential danger of the gender stereotypes that enshroud sex.
Even though victims are almost always women, to place blame on either gender would oversimplify a complex issue. Implying that the woman "brought it on herself" because of her clothing, location or drunkenness is ignorant and offensive. It's also a way to burden her with the blame, instead of dealing with the actual attacker.
Since most sexual assault is lubricated by alcohol, getting consent is often overlooked. In their drunken stupor, few students will stop to discuss the awkward topic of consent.
Yet, stereotypes and misconceptions regarding sexual gender roles open a trap, the slopes of which, made slippery by alcohol, are bound to pull in both sexes. And while it certainly isn't fair to blame either gender, it is fair to point out that the pain of the fall clearly hurts one gender more than the other.
No easy solution exists for something so complex-we can hardly write off all men as rapists. Yet, communication holds promise for the future. Simply put, it's worth bringing up the topic of consent before anything happens, regardless of how awkward it may seem.
Emin Hadziosmanovic a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Tuesday.
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