Dear MILLI-
It's been a pretty big weekend for me! I went to the huge unveiling of Nasher on Thursday night because I had to get out of my room-my roommate just broke up with his girlfriend, and I can't stand the massive amount of Dashboard Confessional on repeat. Plus he keeps going into the closet with a box of Kleenex, a photo album and the soundtrack for "Say Anything." On Nasher: I don't get abstract art (since when is a half-chewed piece of toast an artistic masterpiece?), but in general it wasn't too bad.
I also went to a Mirecourt party, which, like all their parties, started out as two sophomores eating a sandwich and ended up a no-holds-barred-wow-I-never-knew-bodies-could-twist-like-that orgy. That jungle juice should qualify as a Weapon of Mass Seduction. It made me think though, that I really wouldn't mind joining a selective living group, so I started doing my research on which one I'd like to join. Here are my notes:
Brownstone--Did they take the name of the freshman substance-free dorm and make it an upperclassman living group? Or is it the other way around? I gotta hand it to them, though; they know how to make do-without alcohol to grease the wheels, load the ladies up with chocolate.
LangDorm-I don't understand the point of getting people speaking tons of different languages in the same small space, other than to recreate scenes from the Bible. Didn't God smite that place? They should just go abroad.
Maxwell House-These kids are pretty chill (in fact I'm not sure I've ever seen one outside the WEL), but I don't think it's fair for one group to have a monopoly on Bibo Ergo Sum. I mean, that should be the Duke motto. In fact, I'd love a pair of $55 jogging shorts with "I drink therefore I am" emblazoned on the butt.
Prism-"Multicultural" doesn't count quite as much if everyone's Asian.
Psi Upsilon-Are they Greek? I don't get it. But now that I think about it, there's nothing that I secretly want more than to play Dungeons and Dragons in Rick's.
Round Table-?
Wayne Manor-Bruce Wayne probably wouldn't have joined a frat either. But I'm not sure that he would've been in an a capella group. Hmmm wha wha hmmmmm wha wah !clicketyclicketyclickety! nanananananananana hmmm wha wha BATMANNNNNN!!
After all that, I'm not sure I found the right place for me. I think I'll actually try to go to RLHS with my own co-ed living group idea: Advocates of Sensual Shenanigans (ASS). FYI: Until we get housing, meetings will be held Wednesday nights at 1 a.m. in the back of the Perkins stacks.
OK, I'm gotta get to class. Hopefully I can avoid the traffic jams of tour groups and packs of running shirtless boys.
VANILLI
VANILLI-licious!
What's up? It's like 2 a.m., and I thought I'd write because I'm a little bored. I was watching Jerry McGuire with this girl on my futon, but she said she had to catch the last bus back to East and left. I though that was kind of offensive, so I just IMed all my friends to tell them she has herpes.
Anyways, I just got one of those chain e-mails that reveals everything about your personality in a few questions. I thought it was interesting-I've got nothing better to do right now, so I figured I'd forward it.
Enjoy-
MILLI
P.S. I, MILLI, am a Weapon of Mass Seduction.
Forward this on to everyone you know! Or a huge curse will be put on your sex life!!!!!!*****
If a Chris Chin falls out of DSG in the middle of a forest, and no one but The Chronicle pays attention, does it make a sound?
(a) Yes
(b) No
(c) What if a billion freshman campaign for the new spot?
For an upcoming class project, your professor asks you to pick a partner. You choose:
(a) The girl who actually carries a backpack, not a tote: guaranteed good grade without much effort on your part, but any last vestige of self-worth will be utterly destroyed.
(b) The smelly kid: He's not very popular, but the professor seems to like him, and he could probably teach you an Eastern European drinking song or two.
(c) The guy in the back with the hat and the crossword: because, honestly, is it the grade that matters or how collectively cool you can look chortling through your presentation on "Digestion and Human Mastication."
Which extra-curricular activity group do you find most obnoxious?
(a) Cable 13
(b) Fight-dancing half-naked on the quad to the sound of beating drums
(c) Duke Students Against Sexual Assault: because which Duke Students are For Sexual Assault?
How do you rank the Inherent Coolness Factor of a social event on campus?
(a) The amount of free food that is given out
(b) The number of free T-shirts distributed
(c) Dick Brodhead sightings! <wink, wink. . . >
The reason Larry Moneta didn't want people to drive out of the Blue Lot on Saturday's kickoff was:
(a) Maneuvering SUVs around costumed lacrosse players is unsafe!
(b) Someone might drive drunk!
(c) Someone's parents might sue me!
The reason why people WANTED to drive out of the Blue Lot after Saturday's kickoff was:
(a) My heart breaks a little every time Duke drops the ball.
(b) Because after four hours the last lot on the left was dripping with Navy's seamen.
(c) Belmont's "No Tailgating" sign as you drive in the gates is now a delightful double-entendre.
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