The independent news organization of Duke University

Monday, monday


Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond; I've gotten pretty busy, now that drop/add is over and I actually have to go to my classes. Plus, I volunteered to chauffeur a visiting Tulane student around, thinking that Louisiana chicks like Mardi Gras (hehe), but I got this random dude instead. He's cool, but I never win any arguments with him because he can always play the did-I-mention-my-hometown-is-destroyed trump card. I thought I'd help him learn his way around campus with a couple games: life-size Chutes 'n Ladders with the various Bryan Center stairways, then back to my room to play with the East-West map I got from joining Dukes and Duchesses-the administration hasn't gotten "Risk" registered as a drinking game yet, so we had a great, uninterrupted time until he captured Perkins and passed out.

Actually, we were talking about Hurricane Katrina in my PPS class this week (read: taking turns quoting our favorite N.Y. Times columnists) and everyone was pointing fingers about the fault: President Bush, FEMA, God smiting the hedonists. Personally, I blame Lesley Hill.

I've been kind of off this week in general. Maybe it's only because only 1,476,023 seconds lie between me and the LSAT. I wouldn't usually be worrying about it but the Career Center has decided to live in a very personal crevice and remind me every 10 minutes how I'll end up selling myself for grits on a streetcorner in Rappahannock if I don't sign up for BlueDevilTrak INSTANTLY. The stress (which is definitely worse than yours, don't even try) is messing with me. Like, seeing Pauly on the quad at 3 in the AFTERNOON threw off my biological clock, and I was late for the weekly practice of The Hollaback Boyz. I've been worried lately about what to do if Duke follows Article-I-Dude's advice and strikes "Religio" from the motto. Just walk around shouting "Eruditio eeeeeeettttttttt-----"? How stupid would that be?

Well, I'll wrap things up. Laguna Beach is on, which redeems Monday as a day. Man, I wish my name was Talan. Or Tallman Trask.




You'd be proud of me! I made some friends with girls this week, basically because I've observed their habits and found out that GUM : COLLEGE GIRLS :: CIGARETTES : PRISON INMATES.

I've been saving time lately (efficiency is everything when Student Health takes as long as it does to get you a packet of salt and directions for gargling) by using a zipline I've constructed to get from the Kilgo turret to the roof of the BC. I've designed a whole network around campus so that I can take a ski lift up from Edens or firepole down through Wilson, but the Duke University Planning Committee noticed and made me take them down. They said it was embarrassing, but I didn't know if that was because I didn't get paid $10,000 to build the network, because it didn't have a clever name like "Student Plaza" or because my construction projects were the only ones actually getting completed on campus. Now I'll have to accept my fate of quasi-gracefully walking/trotting to the bus stop every time it looks like the driver will pull away.

I actually have resolved a lot of my transportation issues because I sold my soul on e-Bay for free gasoline for a lifetime. Sadly, according to the IRS that's only 20 years... but it did mean I could charter my own bus to Iced Out-I let a DTD brother barter passage to the event in exchange for getting into the VIP room. P.S. All the white on white was blinding.

Speaking of parties-I went to my first TAILGATE!! ever. I haven't ever made it before, because I usually volunteer at the UNC Center for Students Who Actually Can't Read Good on Saturday mornings. When people said to come in costume, I didn't realize that meant I should dress as a moderately-inebriated Iron Duke. I thought my Chem Nerd costume was great (haha, it gets me every time), but some girls dressed up as Party Monitors took away my pipet set. Jeez, I thought "funneling" just referred to meteorological phenomena.

I better go, someone who came back from abroad is making me look through his scrapbook/Drunken Pictures in Europe, Volume III again.



Share and discuss “Monday, monday” on social media.