David Stern for president

It is a sad statement for the way our society is as it enters the year 2005 when the main stories dominating our headlines in the wake of a historic presidential election are that a man beat up a drunk guy in the stands and that another guy used what he knew as “the cream” and “the clear” so he could hit a small ball with a long stick a long way. It is decided: professional sports suck and it is ruining society.

My love-hate relationship with professional sports has a storied past. I really can’t remember when I decided all things college were superior to the pros. Maybe it was when the team I was raised to love, the Dallas Cowboys, fielded a team that looked more like a prison team than a team little boys should look up to. Or maybe it was reading about paternity suits fielded against every other player in the NBA. Or maybe it was witnessing the baseball strike in 1994 or the one that came close to occurring in 2002.

Or maybe it was when I realized in college the game just looked better in every sport. I think I watched more of the College World Series—metal bats and all—than the professional World Series. I definitely watch March Madness more than the NBA playoffs. And I greatly prefer the beauty and pageantry of college football to the consumer-driven NFL.

So in the wake of Brawlgate and Steroidgate I am almost convinced to try to boycott professional sports. It should come as no surprise that when we pay men straight out of high school who are not fully emotionally mature enough to handle the real world millions of dollars that they behave like children in front of the cameras. Maybe the professional leagues should not just use raw talent to decide who gets to play in their leagues. Maybe there should also be psychological evaluations to decide if these men are of good enough character to warrant being idolized by millions and receive millions of dollars.

I hope that soon the general public can look at college athletes and realize how superior the amateur athlete is. Granted, college sports are flushed with cash from Nike and the television networks. Bad stories come out of the college ranks like the scandals that hit the University of Colorado. These incidences, however, are more akin to the flaws of human nature than the specific aspects of college sports.

Incidents like that at Colorado even happen at major high school programs. They are not nearly as gross or flagrant as the major crimes committed by professional athletes. During the Michigan State-Duke game, a few players got in each other’s faces. They exchanged a few words and the refs broke up the incident. The game resumed. No one jumped into the stands.

And at least the NCAA is serious about making sure all athletes compete on a level playing field—something Major League Baseball has failed to address. (Dear Bud Selig: that day has come.)

It will take a lot for me to try and actually love the NBA as their catch phrase tries to get you to. Maybe when I stop seeing players on SportsCenter talking about how they want to take time off from the season to promote their album will I consider forking over an absurdly high amount of money to see a game. But I know it won’t make a difference. The NBA and MLB will continue to truck on and make insane amounts of money. I tip my hat to David Stern, Paul Tagliabue and Bud Selig. They’ve presented the American public with a product that is polished and profitable. However, I think I might opt for a little league game instead.