When the Washington Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers a couple weeks ago, Democrats felt quite certain their candidate would oust Dubya from the White House. And why not? The political indicator and coincidence of the Redskins’ loss was clear—in the past 72 years, whenever Washington had been defeated prior to a presidential election, the incumbent had faltered as well.
But, Republicans pointed out, the Party of Lincoln could also claim political optimism from sports with the Oklahoma Sooners’ football team. In seven of eight election years, a Republican victory coincided with the Sooners winning their conference title. Concurrently, Democrats were victorious in 9 of 10 years when the Sooners failed to win their league. And just as theory would predict, the Sooners need only get by cakewalks in Nebraska and Baylor to win their league championship.
All of this is hogwash, of course. The Duke curse is the lone legitimate, unfailing reason that the Democrats lost the election. All the finger-pointing to the party of donkeys being out of touch with the heartland, or the wishy-washiness of Kerry will prove counterproductive and false. It all comes back to John Edwards, the impetus for the Democratic demise.
A graduate of North Carolina State and North Carolina Law School—two of Duke’s most despised rivals—Edwards said last January that he “hates Duke basketball.” So the curse, which works in less-than-mysterious ways, set in almost immediately. Edwards was resoundingly defeated in his parties’ primary elections; Kerry selected Edwards as his running mate; Bush-Cheney handily won the election. And, to pour salt in Democratic wounds, a Republican claimed Edwards’ vacated Senate seat.
Indeed, the Democrat who had attempted to fill Edwards’ spot had the support of the antithesis of Duke basketball, Dean Smith. The former Tar Heel basketball coach was a staunch supporter of Erskine Bowles this past year, which led to his inevitable decline and loss to Republican candidate Richard Burr.
Worse yet, Bowles had failed to learn his lesson, as Smith had already campaigned in Bowles’ favor back in the 2002 Senatorial race when he was squashed by Elizabeth Dole.
Incidentally, Dole is on the right side of the Duke equation—she is a proud Duke alum, and had the clear support of none other than Mike Krzyzewski. The centerpiece of Blue Devil basketball, Coach K was one of many who threw a “Blue Devils for Dole” event in September 2002 at the Washington Duke Inn. So of course, Dole was victorious, and is now one of the stars of her party.
An alum whose star-crossed path has fallen in an opposite direction has been in collusion with Smith. Democrat Patsy Keever, who earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in 1969, was running for U.S. House in the 11th District of North Carolina this year. Smith campaigned alongside Keever in television ads, with Smith’s damning words reverberating into households throughout this, The Tar Heel state: “After forty years of coaching, I know if your team’s not winning, you need to make some changes. Patsy Keever will deliver—and that’s why I’m on her team.” Or rather, the losing team.
Even former President Bill Clinton is susceptible to The Duke Curse. A native of Arkansas, Clinton was courtside for one of the most heartbreaking losses in Duke basketball history in April 1994. The Blue Devils had been ousted by Clinton’s Razorbacks with a late-game three-pointer by Scotty Thurman in the NCAA Championship game, and the 42nd President had no qualms with expressing pleasure in Arkansas’ victory and Duke’s pain.
It would have been easy for The Curse to kick in immediately, but instead, it progressed slowly. It began with the Republican Revival of November 1994, when Newt Gingrich and company swept Democrats out of Washington in droves. But The Curse used Clinton as an example for the rest of the world, as It allowed Clinton to win re-election—over Elizabeth’s husband, no less—so he could commit adultery with Monica Lewinsky (a gigantic curse in and of itself), lie to the world about it and get impeached.
Wisely, Al Gore attempted to distance himself from Clinton and The Curse, a strategy that was successful—he won the popular vote. But John Kerry couldn’t have been happier to welcome Clinton to his campaign, so coupled with Edwards’ previous castigation of Blue Devil basketball, Kerry’s calamitous fate was sealed well before November 2nd.
But fear not, dear Democrats, your political savior awaits in the wings. His name is Dick Price, and he is the epitome of the Prodigal Son. Once a Morehead Scholar at North Carolina, Price realized the err of his ways and embraced Duke, working as a professor in the political science department before beginning what has been a very successful career as a U.S. Representative for the fourth district of North Carolina. Naturally, he ran away with the election. Alas, he has no presidential aspirations. And those that do—Hillary Clinton, John Edwards—are smothered with The Curse.
So as Dubya once declared: You’re either with us, or you’re against us. Mission accomplished, indeed.
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