The independent news organization of Duke University

They'd be a diamond

“And I will be satisfied not to read in-between the lines.” —Van Morrison

Sept. 11, 2001 the United States endured perhaps its greatest domestic tragedy. In a heartwarming reaffirmation of long-dormant American opportunism, politicians and the corporations that own them unveiled ingenious plans to exploit the event.

It’s about time “We the people…” took a little something positive out of the War on Terror. Thank god, our savior has come. National Collector’s Mint of Port Chester, N.Y. hath forged the “Freedom Tower” Silver Dollar. This coin doth possess great power, they exclaim, for it was wrought of silver found “in the heart of Ground Zero.” From the depths, a shining tower rises like a great middle finger in the faces of America’s enemies. For only $19.95 you can own your “Freedom Tower” Silver Dollar.

And only later do we learn that even the shining silver tower coin, our one ray of hope was not only exploitation, but also fraud. Lucky for us, New York’s attorney general Eliot Spitzer had the foresight to investigate and discover that the coins were not pure silver, but only silver-plated! They were only even selling the appearance of resolution.

There exists in these United States of America a company called LifeGem which will offer us a valuable service. As so elegantly states, “the LifeGem is a certified, high quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique and wonderful life.” Bluntly, LifeGem makes diamonds out of dead people. In fact the company can create almost a carat of diamond from a single lost friend.

We, the survivors of Sept. 11, we have been exploited by our elites, but we have only sacrificed in emotion. Our kinsmen have sacrificed in blood, and their deaths are the very springboard of our continued pain. For they table daily the plates that feed our masters. How much longer will their souls be enslaved? They must not endure this indentured servitude a moment longer. We must liberate them. We must recast their lives—out of the shadows and into a blaze of glory.

3,021 of our brethren from the Word Trade Center, and over 1000 from the deserts of Iraq or Afghan caves—we have done them a disservice and still they do not fall from our aid. While the man has stolen their souls, their bodies yet remain. And with their bodies we will build (with the integral assistance of LifeGem) a diamond roughly the size of the War on Terror. And into it we will channel all of our frustration and fear and disgust for the abuse of our minds and the co-opting of our misfortune.

Our diamond we will hold aloft. Minions and fools will declare it the ‘Freedom’ diamond. But no. Our movement is creation. We are a new people and we have taken a new freedom. Ours is the Liberation Diamond. And we will affix our diamond to a shaft of Trade Center silver-coated steel (National Mint willing or no). And from the Liberation Diamond we have the Cane of Liberation: weapon of our triumph.

At the Capitol steps we will line up our leaders, from the proprietor of the National Mint, to the President of the nation. From smallest to greatest we will line them up. And as we come in our stroll to each man in turn, we will stop, flash our gold (not from ground zero) teeth, raise the Cane and beat contrition out of them with the gleaming vengeance of our dead comrades. “Sic semper tyrannis!” And they will know terror. And they will know insecurity. And we will be nearly redeemed.

As the President cowers in the shadeless brilliance of our justice, he too will come to know a special fear lost since the times of George III: fear of the people. Raising him to his knees, we will once again anoint him with our grievance, and demand that he and all Presidents henceforth bear the Cane of Liberation as a notice of limitation and a badge of enduring shame.

And our piece of the ‘War on Terror’ will become a piece of American History. And generations to come will know our lessons. “And we will never never grow so old again.”


Andrew Waugh is a Trinity senior.


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