Let’s start with a story this time. It’s the Saturday of Parents’ Weekend, and my folks are here to take in the UVa game. We’re trying to find a place to park in the Blue Zone (second lot, left side), when, from out of the tailgating chaos come two spots, one on our left and one on our right. Not seeing them, my dad drives a little past and needs to back up to get into the one on the right. A lady in a blue car had come forward to the point where he can’t back up, so I get out of the car to try and help solve the situation.
At that point a parking attendant shows up and we reason that if she (Blue Car Lady, or BCL as she will henceforth be known) backs up, she can pull into the spot on the left, and we can pull into the one on the right. I remain out of the car because a) there’s really no point in getting back in and b) because I’m thinking that given the near misunderstanding, I should remain outside to make sure the whole thing goes down problem-free. Dad parks, and as he and Mom are getting out of the car, BCL comes striding over to me with some serious speed. The following is an approximate transcription of the dialogue that ensued:
BCL: You didn’t have to intimidate me like that!
BCL: You were intimidating me! I saw you! It really was not necessary!
Me: I wasn’t intimidating you.
BCL: YES YOU WERE!
Then she walked away, presumably to go watch her team whoop us. I got pretty pissed. “You want something to be intimidated about?” I thought to myself, “I’ll give you something to be intimidated about.” My thoughts continued. “I bet she’s one of those people who always think they’re getting abused when they’re not and thinks she’s making some big stand for victims of male intimidation everywhere by saying something to me. I really ought to go over there and tell how much of an idiot she is.” There were obscenities, too.
But she had a lot to be worried out. Here I am, not even able to go up to her and tell her what an idiot she is to her face, rather saving my admonishment for this column where I can hide behind a tagline and some newsprint. A fact that, conveniently, brings me to my point: I’ve been angry a lot lately because most people are morons. And what follows exemplifies this.
As a “venomous” and “hate-mongering” Jew (see an Internet comment from one of my past columns), it’s hard to sit by and watch all this Palestine Solidarity Movement/Kurian stuff develop and then not have anything to say. Even when I try to talk to my friends (who aren’t morons) about my concerns over anti-Semitism, global and national, they tell me I’m being ridiculous and move on. So this is last thing I’ll say about it for a while: If there are people in the world saying there is a “powerful Jewish establishment,” then I get to say there’s anti-Semitism. As a side note, whenever anyone (usually Republican) tells you to beware of the “liberal media,” they mean “Jewish media.” Just had to clear that one up.
I’m mad at the leftists, too. How about the lot of ya’ll stop whining about how other people are getting stepped on and accept the reality that in order for your life to be like it is, people—somewhere, sometime—have to be oppressed. Sure, ya’ll can think whatever you want to think and do whatever you want to do, just know that when I have to sit through another big cry session I’m not going to be happy about it. How about this—when something’s bad and you don’t like it, fight it with all the power, intensity and hatred that it imposes on you instead of being weak and indecisive. (see: Moby. He sucks.)
Okay, I’ll stop pretending to know about politics now and end with this: If you can’t take me standing outside of your car and looking at you, you are worthless. That’s it, I’m through.
Aaron Kirschenfeld is a Trinity sophomore.
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