Lobster: It's what's for dinner

The strangest thing happened to me. But first, let me provide some background info so that you have a sense of where I’m coming from.

1. I only have four shirts right now. That’s right, you heard me. Eight divided by two. One of these four shirts is my high school senior shirt. As in that dorky shirt you get at the end of your senior year to “show school pride.” Almost every time I wear that shirt, I get the comment, “Hey man, you’re not a senior anymore.” Wow, thanks. I’m really glad you told me that. A real epiphany, let me tell you. Time to quit school because I’ve been living a lie. I’m no longer in high school—my bad.

2. The popped collar is apparently going out of style. To be honest, that’s fine with me, mostly because I never fully understood it. I always thought it was an alternative to using sunscreen—sunscreen’s gross and oily, you know. But now they’ve got that new oil-free stuff (Guaranteed not to clog pores!). Maybe that’s why popped collars aren’t cool anymore. Anyway, in lieu of popping their collars, people are wearing these strap-type things that keep their sunglasses from falling off their necks. That’s the new fad, I guess. And, more often than not, when I’m wearing my too-cool high school senior shirt and raggedy four-year-old shorts from Target, I get this look from the lobster-embroidered-shorts, plaid-shirt, sunglasses-thingy-wearing student. It’s that “I’m cooler than you because I spent $300 on my outfit” look. I want to say to that person is, “Dude, you dress like my grandpa.”

3. I got SAFE trained a few weeks ago. Oy, SAFE, as in “Students, Administration and Faculty for Equality on Campus.” At any rate, I have one of those little SAFE pins on the strap of my messenger bag.

So finally the moment you’ve been waiting for. That’s right folks—the strange thing:

So a few days ago, I was walking down the chapel quad (ironically wearing my senior T-shirt and my old shorts from Target), and a student in a full suit, tie and sunglasses passed me. From about fifteen feet out to the point where we crossed, he was staring at my chest. Or at least that’s what it seemed like he was doing. After we crossed paths, he turned around and yelled, “Hey!” I looked back. Distorting his face so that he resembled a constipated dog, he screamed, “SAFE sucks!” At that, he grabbed his genitalia and then sprinted away.

What’s the point of my little story, you ask? One of my high school teachers (someone who graduated from Duke… fancy that) once told me never to trust someone who judged you only on your beliefs. I think that can be translated to someone who judges you on your clothes as well. Joking aside, I really don’t have any problem with people who wear lobster-embroidered shorts. In fact, I rather like lobster, especially with lemon. It’s really good when you’re in Maine. Maine is known for lobster, you know.

But seriously, I believe that a big problem with our generation is our radical judgment of each other, whether it be based on choices of clothing or personal beliefs. Which is funny because the vast majority of us feel that life would be exceedingly dull if we all agreed. We’d all be drones. There would be no debates, no arguments, no intelligent conversations that spur from differences, and no point in going to college. Yet most of us fall into this shallow judgment trap. We learn from each other, believe it or not. I just think that too often too many of us forget that. So let’s just get along and have fun. If you’re a conservative and I’m a liberal, if you wear lobster shorts and I wear shorts from Target, if you think SAFE sucks and I think SAFE is worthy of my wearing its pin on my bag, we can still enjoy dinner and lively conversation. Remember: Hitler was close-minded. It’s cliché but true. Being open-minded is the key to success, growth and learning, especially at college. So, my friends, let’s all just smile and eat some dinner. Maybe we could even get a lobster.

Matt Dearborn is a Trinity sophomore.