Ah, the Coen brothers--Hollywood's fraternal theatrical threat, a writing-directing two-headed monster of film noir. With celebrated hits such as Raising Arizona (1987), Fargo (1996), The Big Lebowski (1998) and O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) under their belts, it would seem that the Coen kids were the archetypal brother-duo, a collaborative do-no-wrong that all other siblings strive to emulate. Imagine all the poor saps growing up in their neighborhood whose mothers would yell at them: "Why can't you be more like little Ethan and Joel? All you do is sit around and watch 'Transformers.' The Coens write and direct a puppet show per week, and last Saturday they sent G.I. Joe through a woodchipper!"
Maybe momma will be a little less enthusiastic when she gets her ticket ripped for Intolerable Cruelty, a pseudo-romantic-dark-comedy that approaches Coen quirkiness, but stops short of the envelope-pushing pulchritude that has defined them until now.
The story centers around Miles Massey (George Clooney), a high-price divorce attorney whose fabled and fool-proof "Massey pre-nup" has never failed to earn clients hefty settlements. When Massey becomes bored with his fast and successful existence, his attentions turn to Marilyn Rexroth (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a former client's ex-wife whose sexiness is only matched by her efficiency in the art of gold-digging. After outing her in court as a calculating vixen only in-search of a sugar-daddy, Massey must figure out the best way to satisfy his fascination for Rexroth while uncovering her latest make-money matrimonial scheme, this time with Texas oil tycoon, Howard Doyle (hilariously portrayed by Billy Bob Thornton). Equal parts attraction and deception rule Massey and Rexroth's relationship, and ultimately the lawyer-- with his world-famous pre-nup--finds himself precariously straddling a line of love and litigation.
Parts of this film are undeniably Coen, and as you might imagine, they are the most memorable. There's an asthmatic hitman named Wheezy Joe who has an unfortunate (and fatal) pistol-inhaler mix-up, a philandering millionaire with a bizarre sexual obsession with trains and an unforgettable courtroom testimony from a dog-toting weirdo named "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy." Unfortunately, surrounding every glimpse of delightfully twisted black humor is a disappointing realization that most of this is standard, run-of-the-mill romantic comedy between an admittedly funny Clooney and an under-utilized Zeta-Jones. Don't misunderstand: Hugh Grant could not have pulled this off, and no one would have seen the dollar signs in Sandra Bullock's eyes, but the Coen stamp has spelled more inspiration and intelligence in the past.
Let's blame it on feel-good producer Brian Grazer and the other two schmucks who co-wrote. Maybe they're the ones who stifled the Coen brothers. Intolerable Cruelty satisfies as a film that anyone else could have written--perhaps the kids that grew up on the brothers' block. It's reminiscent, and for that it's highly enjoyable, but it doesn't fulfil what have become lofty expectations. There's just no Dude; no woodchipper; no one-eyed John Goodman (and where the hell was Steve Buscemi?!)
Here's hoping the next Coen is classic Coen--wonderfully inventive and darkly enthralling. Ultimately, Intolerable Cruelty is a good story; it's just someone else's.
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