Column: Fuzzy math, Duke style

*Number of BAA faculty: 17

  • Number of planned BAA faculty as of Jan. 21: 6

*Number of future BAA faculty as of yesterday: 10

  • Future size of faculty compared to other departments: 2nd to last

  • Smallest department: Slavic Languages

  • Number of Slavic Languages faculty: 8

  • Number of BAA majors: 74

*Number of Slavic Languages majors: 12

  • Number of Sociology tenure track faculty hired this year in an attempt to break into the top 10 departments in the country: 3

  • Number of BAA faculty positions to be cut over the next few years in an apparent attempt to relinquish standing amongst the top two departments in the world: 7

  • BAA Department annual budget: $1.1 million

  • Arts and Sciences Annual Budget: $$$$$$

  • Amount Duke pays for 100 paper clips: $.08

  • Retail value of 100 paper clips: $0.39-$.99

The past few weeks proved fruitful in a few respects: the BAA department will nearly halved rather than cut by two-thirds; Duke administrators revealed that they still care more what other institutions do than what we do; and we had a snow day.

During the meeting with the BAA faculty, Dean of Natural Sciences Berndt Mueller responded to Mary Carmichael's column by explaining to department members that they are fortunate considering the state of Columbia University's biological anthropology studies. By that logic, Duke should cut funding to its medical center because other institutions don't spend as much on their hospitals, but that is not the really disturbing aspect of his thoughts.

This attempt at placation reminds me of my little brother who constantly looked to emulate his older brothers. Eventually he realized that he should seek his own path in life and matured. Duke is about 79 years old with $4 billion in the bank. My brother is 18 with about $1,000 in a passbook account. Yet surprisingly, he is more secure with himself than this institution. I could understand this phenomenon if Duke were about 10 years younger and still a wily university.

When will we stop looking over our shoulder to see what the Ivy League is doing? When will we decide to pursue fields that we deem necessary and do what is right for Duke? Associate professor Steven Churchill strongly explained the need for biological anthropology at Duke in his guest column last week. It is ludicrous to allow one of our strongest departments to whither, unless we are going to adopt a creationist standpoint--then I wouldn't be so pissed, simply dismayed.

Understandably, Arts and Sciences is trying to balance its budget. Depending on when and whom you ask, administrators say that between zero and 50 faculty positions will be cut. The deans vehemently state that they are maintaining their financial commitment to the BAA department, but still will reduce the overall size. They may be maintaining or slightly increasing the number of A&S faculty, but as certain professors retire, the financial burden lessens. Take Dr. Elwyn Simons as an example. He's been teaching at Duke almost as long as most of his specimens have been fossilized; when he retires, the salary he is earning can pay for two new appointments. If A&S wants to maintain its commitment to BAA it should expand the department following the retirement of several highly paid professors. Arts and Sciences would have to hire more secretaries, but the cost for a year of secretarial work is less than the University spent to network K-Ville. I think we can afford them and their department. We're already saving so much on paper clips!

Kevin Ogorzalek is a Trinity junior. His column appears every third Wednesday.

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