You know you're in trouble when you can't even shop. There were two pairs of Earls, topstitched and top-notch and even on sale. But I just couldn't do it. "Clothes are futile," I thought. "I mean, there's a war going on. Why do I need more jeans?"
Then I went to the supermarket. But surrounded by cans of Contadina, I almost started to cry. "I can't do it," I said sadly. "We're in a recession. How dare I eat when some people don't have any food?" I skipped lunch.
And instead of going to class, I sank down on my bed. "Afghan women can't go to school," I thought. "So how can I go to art history?" And I didn't go to class either. I just sat around, thinking about The War. That's what we should be thinking about, right? Other people are suffering; other people are sick. How dare we lead our little lives, littered with lost loves and lusting after loafers from Manolo Blahnik?
Well, maybe we have no other choice. For better or worse, we are American college kids. But that's not a curse or an unholy existence. It's an opportunity. We have four years to discover what makes us happy; and what makes us whole. By cultivating our minds and spirits now, we are building a foundation on which to place the world to come. We have this chance, and we need to use it.
When students rush around to rehearsal, pilates, pledging or preaching, they're investing themselves in the future. College is a key period in our lives. It's a time of discovery and freedom that will make us better people and stronger leaders when we graduate. I won't feel guilty for taking advantage of my undergraduate existence. It's not a crime to be happy, nor is it a sin to have fun. My life will not be spent apologizing. I'm not doing penance for my car, my wardrobe or my love life. That would be an insult not only to me but also to the family and higher power that have given me a relatively charmed life.
There has always been suffering in the world, and there will always be more. It's not our cosmic duty to deem our lives as too good. Whether by God or by entropy, we were deposited on earth as ourselves. Our responsibility now is to be the best selves we can. Going on a guilt trip doesn't change things, and neither does skipping a meal or foregoing a day at the mall. Yes, terrible things are happening. They always do. We can devote ample time to prayers, volunteer work and foreign policy seminars. But by consuming ourselves solely with The War, we let our way of life be stolen, and the terrorists have won.
On this year's Academy Awards, they told us movies matter more than ever. It was cheesy, but true. Without people, and their continuing stories of love, loss and the occasional shoe sale, what are we fighting for? Don't ever let someone steal your youth. Some people--yes, suffering people--never got to have one. Live life to the fullest, in their honor, and in your best interest. By becoming the happiest and most fulfilled person you can, you will be a better parent, teacher, leader and human being. And anyway, how are we ever going to get out of this recession if we don't spend money?
I just went back to the mall. I bought three pairs of jeans and a super-cute sweater. As I handed over my credit card, I told the clerk, "It's not for me, it's for the economy." And as I clicked my new stilettos and marched back to my house, I didn't feel guilty at all.
Faran Krentcil is a Trinity junior and trends editor of Recess.
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