Human for Sale

Think your earning potential's through the roof? Ever wonder about your real net worth? A new website lets you put your opinions to the test. may be the ultimate capitalist experiment. Before slapping a price tag on humanity, the site surveys inquiring minds on a host of personal traits. Height, weight, eye color, IQ and drinking habits all contribute to the assessment, which considers over three dozen factors.

Fellas, be prepared to dish on your buddy below the belt. (Size does matter.) Ladies aren't off the hook either--cup size figures in as well, but the realm beyond triple-D is uncharted.

The exact numerical distributions for the categories aren't clear, but a little experimentation enlightens the obvious. Body hair is a negative for both dames and gents, and porn fans, gamblers and the sexually impotent also take a hit. Cavities, marijuana use and venereal disease are downers, and a low SAT score could come back to haunt you. discloses its appraisals only via e-mail, making the site a perhaps ingenious tool for gathering demographic marketing info. Most respondents are in-the-flesh millionaires, but a combo of no-nos might make you a discount Dukie.

The worst of all worlds? An unemployed Alabaman alcoholic with epilepsy, arthritis and a criminal record bottoms out at $340,920, and a 100-year-old Kentucky gambling addict who never exercises and watches television "excessively" fares only slightly better.

While the satisfaction of a lofty appraisal is reason enough to log in, there's no eBay feature for those fond of indentured servitude. Fortunately, selling out is something Duke students do well enough alone.

--By Tim Perzyk


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