Evolution

In all likelihood, Evolution has Charles Darwin wishing he never went to the Galapagos.

David Duchovny plays Dr. Ira Krane--a spoof on his own character of Fox Mulder from the X-Files. Ira discovers an extraterrestrial meteorite containing extraterrestrial life that evolves at an exponential rate. Harry Block (Orlando Jones) assists Ira and executes more rectal humor than an entire season of Queer As Folk.

Faux firefighter Wayne Gray (Seann William Scott) is a moron who sobers even the thickest of skull, and scientist Allison Reed (Julianne Moore) stumbles clumsily, not unlike Moore's reputation, after this career choice. (Mind you, she's already pulled-off a coke-addled prostitute.) Any progress that Moore had made toward becoming a classy actress has devolved.

The movie, directed by Ghostbusters' creator Ivan Reitman, is false advertising--a paradox. The title of the film alludes to what Hollywood needs to do in order to retain any redeeming qualities--or a promising future. Instead of evolving, this flick is just another movie, not a film, created for an audience of stereotypes rather than for a progressive population.

This movie's 105 minutes would be better spent brainstorming ways to save Hollywood from further predetermination. Evolution evolves not.

--By Jonathan Blackwell..