Over the years I've received many questions from newly-arrived immigrants about the peculiarities of American society. Why is sex such an obsession in this country? Why is it so difficult to find true, honest and loyal friends? Why does everyone work so damn hard?
While no amount of explanation or observation can make someone understand how this country works, one thing can help.
The National Football League.
The fastest way toward understanding modern-day American society is to sit down in front of a television on some Sunday in the fall and watch a NFL game in its entirety-the distinct flavor that is America resides within this context.
The first thing to notice about a football game is the presence of dead time. An average football game lasts about three hours. But in reality the ball is in play for only about half an hour. The other two and a half hours are filled with commercials, game commentary, players walking to and from the huddle, coaches calling out plays... not to mention the silly pre-game, halftime and post-game shows.
LESSON: Quality is often surrounded by unnecessary junk. America is obsessed with "stuff" and if you don't learn to specify what you truly need, you'll quickly run up several credit card bills.
Next, notice the players' uniforms. Yes, some are ugly but the more important aspect is that they're always neat and tidy. The NFL will actually fine players thousands of dollars if during the game their shirts are not tucked in or if their socks are not pulled up high enough.
LESSON: Image is everything and the ability to sell oneself often turns out to be more important than quality.
No other sport relies on practice as much as football because no other sport resembles warfare so closely. As George Carlin has pointed out, the quarterback is really a field general, meant to lead his troops to victory. To achieve this goal, he follows strict orders from the top brass-the coach, assisted by the defensive and offensive coordinators who remain perched in skyboxes at the very top of the stadium. The game thus develops in plays, carefully coded, scripted and strictly practiced sets of commands. When a quarterback calls out the play each player knows his exact duty and position on the field because he has already performed the same duty in practice many times before. Failure to act according to plan, such as lining up on the wrong side of the field or blocking the wrong man, usually results in the enemy gaining an upper hand in the struggle.
LESSON: What leads to success in the military leads to success in the United States-self-discipline and a knack for repetition. As much as individualism is touted and the free spirit promoted, it is the constant repetition of and dedication to the nine-to-five workday routine that drives the country forward.
In football, each player has a specific duty. There are quarterbacks, running backs, cornerbacks, offensive guards, tackles, centers, receivers, defensive ends, tight ends, kickers, kick returners, punt returners... and very rarely are their roles interchangable. Moreover, the players are valued for their widely disparate skills. At 6'3" and 340 pounds, a monster like Tony Siragusa is a good fit for a defensive tackle; a former track star and Olympic medal holder, like Michael Bates, makes a great kick return specialist.
LESSON: Find your niche in this society and revel in the country's diversity. It is great to be well rounded but America breeds people who do one specific thing better than anyone else, and therein lies its greatness.
Every football player knows what peculiarities come with his position. The offensive line, though arguably the most important part of the offense, is by nature overworked and under-appreciated. The quarterback, no matter how mediocre (see Trent Dilfer), will undoubtedly get a sizable share of the spotlight. Depending on whether he throws a perfect spiral for the touchdown or an end-over-end pass for an easy pick, the game is his to win or lose.
LESSON: Know your place in the grand scheme of the society and synchronize your ambitions with your abilities-not everyone is suited for a four-year degree or making millions on the stock market. Different abilities necessitate different paths to success.
Finally, football is a game governed by rules more than any other is. Penalties like roughing the passer, holding, tripping, false start and delay of game only begin to cover it. Each penalty also has a clear punishment associated with it-15 yards, 10 yards, loss of a down....
LESSON: Rules and laws are taken seriously in America. There may be too many lawyers in this country but they are the keys to understanding the legal code. Though it is complicated and confusing, the law is flexible enough so that a skilled legal counsel can provide you with remedies you would never have dreamed possible.
This is my take on the United States, at least.
Marko Djuranovic is a Trinity junior and health and science editor of The Chronicle.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.