"It's gonna be robitchin'."
So promises the ultimate experiment in testosterone-charged metal-mashing-Comedy Central's BattleBots. Crashing into primetime this month, the half-hour series devoted to gladiator-style mechanized mayhem is quickly becoming a sports-diet staple.
"When sparks fly, robots die." It doesn't get much simpler than that. BattleBots competitions feature head-to-head showdowns between home-made destroyers with names like "Mauler," "Nightmare" and "Missing Link." Wielding axes, buzz saws and even meat tenderizers, the bots "rage in the cage," an enclosed fighting space aptly titled the BattleBox.
Before hundreds of fans and a team of referees, robot controllers steer their creations through three-minute grudge matches, garnering points for aggression, strategy and damage infliction. Avoiding an opponent's onslaught is only half the battle-the arena floor is alive with buzz saws and spikes designed to shock idle competitors into action.
Fueling BattleBots is the witty commentary of announcers Bil Dwyer and Sean Salisbury. Together, the two dish up a brand of comedic banter reminiscent of ESPN's SportsCenter. The fun doesn't stop there. Baywatch alumna Donna D'Errico and Saturday-morning "science guy" Bill Nye complement a motley crew of on-air personalities.
And no bot-battle would be complete without an intimate look at the competitors, who offer pearls of wisdom like, "You have to make the other robot your bitch." Not exactly the podium-proud, star-spangled ramblings of an Olympian, but certainly a sound piece of advice.
If you've missed this sports-comedy spectacle thus far, not to fear. As commentator Dwyer primly proclaimed, there's "more balls-out BattleBots next week."
BattleBots airs Wedesdays at 10:30 on Comedy Central.
-By Tim Perzyk
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