Amidst the soft lights and comfortable atmosphere of the Levine Science Research Center's Love Auditorium, about 60 members of the University and Durham community listened to Nancy Mairs read from her newest publication, a novel titled "Waist-high in the World" that recounts Mairs' experiences as an author and woman with advancing multiple sclerosis.
Mairs, a professor, author and poet, spoke about the dichotomy between mind and body and the great difficulty she had in coming to terms with her own slowly debilitating body. She no longer has any use of her left hand, but has shifted from referring to it as "the left hand" to "my left hand." The change in definition marks an acceptance of her body and her understanding of her mental abilities in spite of her physical limitations. "Yes, you can love [and] be loved," she said. "You must never... either enable me or require me to withdraw from life all together."
She also read excerpts of her novel dealing with her sexuality and her relationship with her husband of more than thirty years. "I really do like sex, a lot," Mairs said, prompting laughter from the audience.
Mairs related, however, that men no longer look at her with lust, and she would be wary of any man that did. "Not one of my doctors has ever asked me about my sex life," she said.
In addition to her husband, Mairs spoke of her children's understanding of their mother and her debilitating disease. Her novel contains a passage her son wrote recalling an instance in which he knocked his mother down. The family was arguing at the dinner table and Mairs stood to leave the table. The son then tried to sit Mairs back in her seat and in that attempt, Mairs fell. "There would be no return from this event," her son wrote.
In addition to these serious descriptions of the reality of daily life with physical limitations, Mairs included some humor and a light-hearted appreciation of the hardships of life. Confined to a wheelchair, Mairs described her situation by saying, "I spend all of my time sitting on my ass."
Audience members, many of whom also suffer from multiple sclerosis, said they were drawn to her speech because she sets an example of the true range of opportunities and limitations of someone with multiple sclerosis. "[Mairs is] an inspiration that handicapped people can... be active [and] be creative. [They] do not need to stay out of sight and out of mind," said Marcia Godner, a retired member of the University faculty who also suffers from multiple sclerosis.
Many audience members also found meaning in Mairs' ability to live her life with dignity. "I feel as I always feel after reading one of her books: challenged to lead my life in more honest ways," said Trinity senior Michelle Belden.
In addition to her position as a role model, audience members were also drawn to Mairs' abilities as a writer. "She's in the class of the great writers... who have the courage to delve deeply into themselves and be honest," said Ann Prospero, a writer living in the Durham area. "She touched on what it is like to be disabled in this able world."
In a brief question and answer session following her reading, Mairs commented on her methods as a writer. She drew laughter from the audience by recalling that she emphasized the five-paragraph paper to her freshman English classes but admitting that this is an outline format she never follows. "I have an idea and I write my way into it," she said.
Mairs also discussed the accessibility of her writing. "I talk about me, which allows you to have a very personal response," she said.
Steven Sager, the Rabbi at Temple Beth El in Durham, agreed with Mairs' interpretation of her own work. "She writes her own story and it's unassailable and true," Sager said. "She's a hero of mine."
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