Who do you look up to?
If you ask people this question, you’ll probably get fairly similar answers. Parents, siblings, friends, teachers, athletes, movie stars, Silicon Valley billionaires. The list goes on, but you get the idea.
Why these people? Inevitably, the answer comes down to one word: success. Individual accomplishment is highly valued in society, meaning that those who do well will be praised. Make lots of money or get straight A’s? Congratulations, you’re on the fast track to role model-dom. People also love stories of others fighting the odds and succeeding, achieving the American Dream through hard work. As a result, those who inspire us are often described as "strong" individuals who have persevered through difficulties. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find a role model story these days that isn’t "inspiring" or "tear-inducing."
Of course, problems inevitably arise when success is used as a measuring stick of a person's worth. Achieving fame and fortune may sound nice, but it doesn't automatically make you a good person. If you want proof, look no further than celebrities. Many of them get into all sorts of trouble—sexual harassment, racially-charged outbursts, domestic abuse, bankruptcy. If people met some of their celebrity heroes, they probably wouldn't find them very kind or friendly. Yet, they go on revering them anyway.
And when it comes to friends and family, personal bias can often come creeping in. Sure, you may think that your siblings are the greatest in the world, but millions of other people probably do as well. And let's face it—you and everyone else can’t all be right.
To really expose the problem with the current state of role models, however, it is worth considering those who should be looked up to. There's no sense in pretending that there exists one universal set of guidelines, but the best role models often share one particular quality: they care deeply about other people.
No, I'm not talking about the care that involves holding doors open for others or picking up something that someone else dropped. Those actions are important, for sure, but they aren't particularly noteworthy or impressive. Genuine care involves seeing the good in other people, even those you may not like. It means that you recognize people's humanity, no matter how much they have hurt you or others. It means making sacrifices for others and lending people a helping hand when they are in need, no matter how despicable or depraved you may believe them to be.
Maybe you read all of those descriptions and immediately thought of several people who would fit your outlook. If so, I would ask you to ponder a bit further. Because the truth is, most people don't care about others as much as they would like to think.
For example, people pull their children away from certain individuals and take great pains to avoid particular neighborhoods. They talk endlessly about respecting everyone, then turn around and wish some people would just disappear or die—and they actually mean it. Some individuals are labeled terrible people, and they are mocked and scorned to no end. Others are looked down upon because of their perceived intelligence or abilities. Still others are stigmatized and targeted for being different.
The fact of the matter is, truly good people are actually quite hard to come by. Most of us know only a handful of these individuals. We see them on the street or at the store, but we don't really talk to them. A lucky few of us have the privilege of calling them friends. For the rest of us, they're mere acquaintances. No matter how close to them we are, however, we, in all likelihood, don't treat them with the respect that they deserve.
You’ve probably seen or heard people grumbling about those they feel have the aforementioned good qualities. That they are too perfect—almost too good to be true—is a common complaint. Some even go so far as to hate others for daring to be better people than they are. Needless to say, this is incredibly judgmental and selfish. Unfortunately, it is all too common. Though they would never admit it, many people want everyone else to be just as flawed as they are. They don't really want their role models to be better people—after all, that would just remind them of their own inadequacies.
The fact that society discredits the very people who deserve the most respect is truly a sad state of affairs. The world needs more empathy and care for humanity, not less. The good people among us don't limit their concern to their family and friends, as many adults seem to do (and even encourage). Rather, their care for others inspires them to try and make a difference in other people's’ lives. They take an honest point of view: human beings are flawed, and the world has many problems. But while such maxims cause those who care little about others to lose hope and turn inward, their counterparts are energized and excited by the prospect of helping those in need.
So, as I wrap up this column and say farewell to Duke, I urge those reading to consider what sort of future they want for themselves. College is meant to inspire young twenty-somethings to effect change in the world, but it often does the opposite, sending them down a path of enervating corporate jobs from which they never quite recover. Perhaps a change in role models, in the people whom we aspire to be, would be a good start to reversing this trend.
And if we could develop a deeper sense of compassion for our fellow inhabitants of planet Earth? Well, that would certainly give new meaning to the "Duke difference."
Ben Zhang a Trinity senior. This is his last Chronicle column.
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