The Max Stayman creed

“College is the time when the boy you are meets the man you are going to be.”

When Dr. Sparky Reardon—longtime Dean of Students at Ole Miss—told us that at the Interfraternity Council New Member Reception a few weeks ago, it got me thinking about how you can figure out the man you are going to be. He suggested that this room full of young men go learn their Fraternity’s creed and ritual and go preach it.

And there is a great deal to be taken from each of our Fraternity’s founding documents and ideals. But to meet the man you are going to be, you have to come to define your own creed.

As I sit here and write this, I am well aware of how lofty and pretentious it seems. Nonetheless, I think a creed is supposed to be a high ideal after which you strive, and, by definition, of which you often fall short. In that mindset, I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to figure out my own creed. My remaining days at Duke are running low—if Sparky is right, I better meet this new Max soon.

With that said, here is in no particular order the Spring 2016 version of the Max Stayman Creed:

1) Take Care of Your Business

Having been around Duke Football for the last two years, this is something I’ve overheard from Coach Cutcliffe a million times: take care of your business. I also heard it growing up. Absolutely go have fun, but take care of your business first.

If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there. If people can’t rely on your actions, they’ll never put any weight behind your words.

Admittedly, I’m stealing this quote from Orison Swett Marden, a late 19th and early 20th century American inspirational writer. But take a minute to think about the people you most like to be around. Are they the ones that mope and complain and find fault, or the ones that smile and express interest in you and are genuinely happy to see you? My favorite line from any book is when Lee says in East of Eden, “Perhaps the best conversationalist in the world is the man who helps others to talk.” I like to broaden that, too, to mean that the primary goal of interactions with other people is to make them feel good about themselves.

Of these four elements to my Creed, this is by far my weakest area. And yet, each time I fall short I’m reminded of its importance.

4) Remember From Whence You Come

It is really easy, especially at a place like Duke, to get caught up in where we’re going. What’s our next class? Our next job? Our next network? But that environment makes it even more important to remember from whence we come. We all come from somewhere—a family, a home life, a school, a social group and a cultural tradition. Don’t forget that you are inextricably linked to them.

No matter what you make of yourself on your own terms over the rest of your life, that will be from whence you come—henceforth and forever more.

5) The last time I turned down a whiskey, I didn’t understand the question

Not only am I skeptical of people who don’t drink whiskey, I don’t trust someone who isn’t able to let loose and have a good time every once in a while. My Fraternity’s Creed asks us to “endeavor to retain the Spirit of Youth.” However you choose to do that, make sure you do.

Life is too short to always take care of your business.

Max Stayman is a Trinity senior. His column usually runs on alternate Fridays.