Happy springtime, Duke humans. It’s that time of year again: time to rush into your niche. Just that word, rush, does sound a bit overwhelming if you ask me. How about we use a different term to ease the tension? Can we call it fall into? Stumble upon? How about the social stroll? Better yet, collecting peers? Regardless, please go into this season maintaining the mindset that you belong here. Yes you. You were one of a billion applicants who received a non-rejection letter to Duke University. You are a unique, brilliant and interesting part of the Duke community, regardless of the box you find yourself part of by end of this RUSH.
Unfortunately, even in your best efforts, you cannot be completely summed up by a few letters on a tee shirt or the new label you identify by. Stop stressing about rushing into the box that will make everything in your life line-up and happen. It’s who you are and the energy, charisma, light and zest that you bring into a space that count.
Before I try to get all feelings-based on you, I do need to make note that I am very aware of my audience. This is a unique bubble. Very-competitive. A lot of brilliant beyond brilliant minds all striving to be at the top of their games. Have you ever wondered though why the social scene has to be yet another competition? Can we admit to an invisible social hierarchy here on campus? You compete with all the thousands of other U.S. high school valedictorians to get in here, and then once you’re in here, you compete again since you are competitive by your genetic makeup. Internships. Majors. Extra-extra curricular activities. The list is as exhausting as the maintenance of the lifestyle. Even a lack of sleep is a competition. I got four hours...well I got negative three so HA. Why do we play these funny games, Duke students? Social capitalism? Is busier the new better? Better groups means better access to who knows what? Parties? Internships? BUZZ WORD NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES? Good-looking humans? Current-senior here. I know it exists.
However, once you leave Duke, you will not be able to flaunt your self worth by your affiliation or lack thereof. You will be stuck with YOU in a sea of millions instead of a few thousand. So work on competing with yourself instead of your peers. Furthermore, utilize this bubble’s uniquely high concentration of brilliant and different beautiful minds to help YOU grow. Do not get stuck in a box of homogenous ideals surrounded by versions of yourself. That just doesn’t sound like a lot of development or fun for that matter.
Go into this RUSH trying to remember to love yourself first and foremost. I hope you will end up in a box where you feel accepted, loved, challenged and entertained. A space where you can speak your mind and develop into the best version of yourself.
What is great about college is that you get to decide which groups to grow in and which ones to ditch. Depending on the size of your circle, club, box, athletic team, independence, you may have to do some extra effort in finding a group that meshes with your unique energy to help realize your potential. It is totally worth it though! I am not saying to go out and match.com it style for the perfect niche. What I am trying to say is that if you are not happy with the people you are hanging out with, it may be time to find a new group of people to jam with instead of complaining about another meeting or expensive dues to maintain their loyalties.
Do not worry about how this club, box, group, brotherhood, sisterhood, etc. stacks up to the others because no one really cares. I promise you they are too busy caring about themselves. We are in our early 20’s, still that time in development where our worlds revolve around us. Regardless of if you “make it” or not into your dream box, club, affiliation, gig, do not worry. Walk. Don’t RUSH to the next right place for your unique YOU.
That being said, this is that one Best Years of Your Life time when your BFF, first and foremost, should be you.
Chances are you are childless, career-less and selfish. There has been a lot more alone time during my undergraduate career than this extreme-ended extrovert was prepared for. This self-friendship was a hard one to come by considering I double as my own worst critic and enemy. Then again, how do you think I got here? The standards I have for myself are higher than I can achieve in one lifetime. In my experience, my circle consists of friends that help push that standard while helping me realize my dreams and goals.
Until you find that, take yourself on a date, bring a friend if you want, have a heart to heart, journal, share your wildest dreams out-loud. Never let any group or person dim that light that got you into such an amazing institution. YOU ARE SO AWESOME! You must be. There was a like a HUGE process just to be able to enter this bubble and call it home. Don’t waste your time, energy or resources here on something as mundane as your campus social affiliation. If it is getting to the top of the game however you define it, start by playing YOUR OWN game.
If you are lonely, say something. I guarantee you that there is a person within 100 feet of you on this campus who feels the same way. Trust the process. Much love. Catherine.
Catherine White is a Trinity senior. Her column runs on alternate Thursdays.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.